Ode to Never Fitting In

Ode to Never Fitting In

“Wanna smoke?” Nate asks at the basketball party
And all I do is check Facebook on my phone
“SAT Prep Party #neerrdddzzzzzz” indicates Jessie’s status
And I click “like,” but we all know I wasn’t invited
And I’m not really sure what the “S” “A” or “T” stand for
“Yeeah! Hardcore rap! Finally!” calls out Pete “All that other shit sucks!”
I don’t know who is in the speakers right now, but there are a lot of uses of the n-word
On the patio, Jerry and Phil are stealing their dad’s whiskey
But my dad let me try his once, and it was terrible.
“What am I doing here?” I wonder.
To my right, four girls I don’t know are practicing their cheer routine
While some girl watches from the side, silently mouthing the words the squad will never hear
I guess I thought my friend Tom was coming to this thing,
But he texted me his older brother was home from college.
If I had an older brother,
I’d probably not be cool enough to hang with him and his friends.
I’d ask my mom to pick me up, but she says I need to experience my teen years
I think she just wants a date night with Dad.
I take the last sip from my solo cup of ginger ale, thinking
“seriously, what am I doing here?”
That kid who sleeps two seats behind me in class is passed out in the chair next to me
Is he ever awake?
The pyros are starting a bon fire
I don’t mind fires, but three feet tall is my limit
In line for the bathroom
Jake, the quarterback, is literally making out with two girls at once
I don’t have that kind of time management
A stoner tells me to try his hoodie: “Dude it’s sooooo soft!”
I say sure, thinking I have nothing better to do, so I pull it over my head and
It doesn’t quite fit.

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