Carpe Dontem

Carpe Dontem

some days I really feel like I own the world
all of you bend to my slightest whim
power secretes from my every pore
not oily sweat; not dirt

but, other days I just sit around
feeling boredom creeping up my legs
like some backwards afghan from
my grandmother’s living room

I’ll just lay there, looking up at my ceiling
those little glow-in-the-dark stars all faded now
the mid-morning sun desperately trying
to infiltrate my dark blue curtains

not that I’m tallying or anything
but it sure seems like those other days
hang around longer…and at times, I think,
didn’t someone kind of important say seize the day?

and I’m here thinking,
how can you seize the day
when you woke at noon?

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Fake it ’til You Make it

Fake it ’til You Make it

She looks through my new sweater
And says sickly, “That’s super cute!”
Even though we all know what she really thinks
No one believes as she
Tells the other girls she thinks they’re pretty

And while guidance buys her lies,
We all hear what she says
Feel the sting of the whips she cracks
The way she makes us feel
So she can change and improve
The way she feels on her own

What I want to do is
Shoot meteors out of my hands
And explode her
in a great billowing
mushroom cloud of justice

But we must play nice and all pretend
“fake it ’til you make it”
And when I come home
and my parents ask that question
I’ll give the same answer

I guess
faking
it isn’t only for school.

Things Instead of Clouds

Things Instead of Clouds

Remember that time when we were little
And I mean little little like really little
Like little little little little?
And we would stare up into a great big sky
and think we saw things instead of clouds?
Maybe a giraffe or a bunny
or whateverwewantedtosee?

What if, like now that we’re older
And I mean older older
Not just olderish
But like older older older older!
Maybe we stare out into a great big world
And think we see things instead of monsters
Maybe a cute guy or a body type we wish we had
or something there that isn’t?

And, like, we’re supposed to be smarter
not like, kindasorta smarter
But smarter smarter smarter smarter
And we need to base our decisions on like
life experience orsomethinglikethat
maybe we look back on our life
and think we see things instead of success
maybe missed opportunities or failed attempts
but maybe they’re actually lessons

Maybe we needed them all
Like needed needed them?

misunderstanding

misunderstanding

and suddenly it’s the french and indian war or whatever,
and before i know it, my mom has this huge laundry basket
of all my hoodies.
“mom – what is all of this?!”
my earbuds are decidedly out now.
“i told you! the news report!” she’s screaming
“no drugs! absolutely
no drugs!” she is on a rampage “not in this house!”
“not in my house…” she trails off as
i think
“no drugs in my house, either!”
just because that news lady
with the bun
and the pearl necklace
said reports reported that
hoodies lead to pot,
they don’t know me
my hoodies only lead to snoozing in math
if my mom wants to know if i do drugs
– which i don’t –
she should just ask.